30 Day Blog Post Challenge, Day 15

Halfway! I have officially reached halfway!

Alright, so today’s challenge is to list three pet peeves. I know a lot of things bother me, but I’m finding it hard to think up three individual, unrelated ones. Anyway, here it goes!

1. Blocking the sidewalk – This could be anything from walking slowly with little kids and I can’t get around you, walking slowly in a big group of people or walking your dog on a leash, with you walking by the buildings and your dog walking curbside. I am generally a faster walker than most people so not being able to get around people ESPECIALLY if I need to be somewhere at a certain time, will get you cursed at.

2. Standing in a long line then when you get up to the counter, you haven’t decided what you want – This is the worst. It is even more the worst when it’s at say, a coffee shop where there isn’t a huge selection. These people are usually the first to get irritated because the line isn’t moving then proceed to get up to the counter and hmmm and haw over ehat they want. Here’s an idea; WHEN YOU’RE PISSED OFF STANDING IN LINE FOR A LONG PERIOD OF TIME, CHOOSE EHAT YOU WANT THEN SO YOUR ORDER GOES THROUGH QUICKLY. I’m not sure why this is so difficult for people to understand.

3. Littering RIGHT infront of a garbage can – Really? You couldn’t take ONE more step to make sure your trash ended up in the bin instead of the ground? Really?

Okay, ranty pet peeve me is done. Do any of these bother you as well or am I completely alone with peeving these?

(Also, if you are participating iin this challenge as well, let me know!)

30 Day Blog Post, Day 14

Today’s challenge is to write about how my life will be in seven years.

Well, I’m hoping I will not only still be alive, but that I would be happier than I am now. I know depression will always be a part of me, but I hope to have a much better grasp on it than I do now.

I want to be in a job I actually enjoy, not settle for and get the short end of the stick, but I actually enjoy.

As much as I love Toronto, I hear the west calling me again. It’s been far too long since I’ve been out there and I really would like to spend a summer in the mountain cabin, deep in the woods. Think Banff/Canmore or Whistler. Not too sure about winter yet as I dislike it here.

I will also hope that within the next seven years, I will have backpacked through the UK, maybe even lived there for a bit? And maybe not live but at least visit. That would be nice.

Anyway, that’s basically it for this blog post.

The Sun Was Shining Today

I’m not sure how to explain this exactly, but I will give it a shot.

On bad days or my usual “neutral” days where I’m not good but also not in a bad place, I let everything go. I wear the same outfits repeatedly, I don’t clean my apartment, I do the bare minimum. If that. On bad days, I won’t really do much more than feed my cats their daily dose if canned food and go back to bed. On neutral days, I go “through the motions” so to speak. I get up, make coffee, make breakfast, maybe shower, make a dinner, feed my cats and fill their water dish with fresh water.

On bad days, I’m completely oblivious to the mess my apartment has become since my good day. On neutral days, I am aware of the mess but too overwhelmed over the smallest thing to do anything about it.

On good days however, I am completely and wholly aware of the mess and that’s when I do a few dishes, throw garbage in the garbage bins outside, throw the recycling out, clean my washroom, etc. I do as much as I can, even if it hardly makes a dent but at least I do something. I lucked out with yesterday being a good day and today a neutral day, but I had a doctor’s appointment so I had to get up, grab some fruit to eat, make coffee and go. I also managed to sweep up a bit and put some of my garbage out so my kitchen is neater. I did some grocery shopping with the last twenty bucks I had (my bank account is still being investigated) and plan on doing a sinkful of dishes.

At my doctor’s appointment, I sorta yelled at my doctor a bit. All the crap and stressful things that happened, well I took it out on my kind doctor. He was a bit taken aback, reminded me of the emergency numbers I have and waived the fee for my medical forms. I thanked him and apologised, just that the added stress of everything ontop of my not so steady mood was just too much and I had to vent.

On a plus side, it was sunny and fairly warm out. I managed to run quickly to the store in just my sweater. The wind is still cold though. At least the fact that warmer weather is coming is somewhat comforting and gives me a bit of hope.

30 Day Blog Challenge, Day 13

Today’s challenge is “describe your commute to work/school/etc”. Well as you probably know, I’m still on medical leave from work. I’m starting an online course on Music as Biology on Monday so I won’t have a commute there either.

Anyway, going back to when I was going to work, I worked at both locations. There’s one in Oakville, that commute takes me an hour and a half. I take the GO train (quite a scenic view from Toronto to Clarkson station) and the bus from there to work. Fairly easy and simple.

When I work at the Vaughan location, however it is more than a bit of a hike. It takes in total two hours and that’s only if there aren’t any delays. I take the streetcar to the subway( Bloor line), then take the subway west to Jane station, the Jane rocket to Jane/Steeles, cross the street and catch the YRT Jane bus going north to Vaughan Mills. As much as I love the people in Vaughan, having to work an eight hour shift and travelling a minimum of two hours each way is beyond tiring. It’s pretty much the only time that I wish I had a car because you can take the highway and be there in twenty minutes.

30 Day Blog Challenge, Day 12

Now this one is going to be quite entertaining, even if it’s just entertaining for me (sorry guys). Today I am to write about two words/phrases that make me laugh. Both of them are inside jokes so I will try and communicate the moment but it will probably end up being a moment of “you had to be there”.

The first phrase is “It’s just the lighting”. A friend, my middle sister and I were making kraft dinner, we had to be young so I’m thinking I was maybe around twelve? Anyway, I was able to cook KD.

So I was stirring in the milk and cheesy powder and my friend kept looking in the pot and saying there were lumps (if you aren’t familiar with KD, since the cheese mix is powder, it can clump up a lot when liquid is added). So I kept stirring and stirring and she kept saying tgere was still lumps, so I said a little harshly “IT’S JUST THE LIGHTING!” My kitchen had good lighting and we just collapsed in a huge fit of laughter. That phrase has stuck with my sister and since and everytime time someone doubts something around us, one of us will say “it’s just the lighting” so offhand and laugh.

The next phrase is “Froggy says, ‘I can’t wait til Christmas!’ With his camera eyebulb”. Froggy is my middle sister’s stuffed animal that she had growing up. During a slightly rumbunctous night at the cottage, Froggy lost one of his glass eyes. It became unglued. This became his “camera eyebulb” as stated above. I don’t remember how the “I can’t wait for Christmas” came about, considering it was August and we were at the beach. Still though, any mention of Froggy’s impatience towards Christmas or his “camera eyebulb” makes me giggle.

Life Update; Medical Marijuana, Long Chats and Bank Issues

I haven’t written an update about myself in a bit so I thought I’d update everything.

First things first, my bank is horrible. Since I had to fill out an investigation report, I still don’t have access to my bank account. I got my taxes done and chose the “instant refund” option so they wrote me a cheque. My bank said they had to hold the cheque for four business days and so I called the manager at my home branch. About half an hour later he said he took off the restrictions on my account and I would have to go to a teller instead of using the ATM. I said I understood so I went back to the bank. I gave my cheque to the teller and they said there was going to be a hold. I explained what the manager had JUST TOLD ME on the phone and the manager of that bank said “well that’s not what the notes say.” So I grabbed my cheque back and went to the bank that owned the account. Luckily, the manager gets her taxes done at the same place and let me cash it even though I don’t have a bank account there. So I’m possibly going to be switching banks in the near future.

So that’s the bank problem (that they still haven’t resolved).

At the advice of more than a few people, I got a prescription for medical marijuana. I have never been a pothead, more like a social smoker, if that. So I went to the dispensary and the doctor went over strains that help with depression. As I’ve said before, the sertraline and mirtazapine just sorta neutralise my mood. I am never excited or overjoyed, I’m just apathetic really. Weed not only helps me sleep at night but has increased my appetite a bit and I can actually feel happy. I know that that is what being stoned is like anyway, but it actually feels nice to be “light hearted” again. I’m not stoned 24/7 and mainly only smoke right before I go to bed but I see that it’s helping.

I’ve also been hanging out with friends more and having wonderful chats about everything and it gets me out of my house, which is generally hard for me to do.

Well that’s it for now. I’m still not ready to fully join the world again but it’s improving a little bit at a time.

30 Day Blog Challenge, Days 9, 10, 11

Would you look at that. On Friday I was so pleased about being able to post the challenge everyday and then the weekend comes and it goes downhill. I’m also including Monday’s post in this as well since it is technically Monday.

For day nine, I was to post about ageism and how I feel about it. Being a feminist, I am very anti-ageism due to the simple fact that women that are past a certain age, that makes them undesirable and unwanted. This is an absolutely horrible way of viewing aging. Hollywood of course, is all about the younger woman/much older man trope. Actresses who are ten years younger than the geraitric male leads get told that they are too old to play the love interest. It’s very sexist. So all in all, I’m not with ageism.

Day ten I was to write about a fruit I dislike and why. As much as I’m not much of a fruit eater, I found this a bit difficult to answer. Then I found it. I don’t like watermelon. It’s messy, sticky and seedy and just all around gross to eat, unless chopped up in a fruit salad.

And lastly, day eleven. For day eleven, I am to write about my current relationship. Well I’m currently single. I’m not actively looking for someone at the moment, mainly because I’m too busy sorting myself out right now. Dating when you have a mental illness makes things a wee bit more difficult, mainly because of the stigma that strongly surrounds mental illness. Even though I am very open about my struggles with MDD here, it’s not something I would want to bring up right away to a new mate. Just like sleeping with someone, I would have to get comfortable around them and trust them first. Having trust in a relationship is huge for me. So for the time being, I’m focusing on discovering myself and if something of a relationship happens to develop, great!  If not, I’m okay with that too!